I love to be still before the Lord.
I love to read Gods Word.
I love to pray.
I love to worship.
So really this isn't a very hard thing is it...or is it?
I am realizing that while I love to do these things, I love to do them on my time. My quiet time in the morning, getting together with a group of people to pray or corporate worship. All of these things are done on My time and I fit them into MY schedule...ouch.
But being told that I will spend two weeks at home not doing anything...being still...is making my heart beat fast. The kind of fast when you are anticipating something but you are not sure how it is going to work out.
I have spent the last week rescheduling appointments, shopping, cleaning, lining up people to help with the boys.
I have been anything but still...I have been very much a Martha when I really want to be a Mary.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. Luke 10:38-39
I invite Jesus into my house, but am I stopping to listen to Him and sit with Him when He wants to talk to me or do I say hold on just a minute while I finish what I am doing?
The idea of being in my house and seeing something that needs to be done and not being able to do it makes me a little nauseous.
I am a doer. I see something that needs to be done, I do it. A Martha.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Luke 10:40
My first thought was maybe I will be so drugged that I won't care what is going on. That would be the easy way out...just sleep through it. But then the Lord started showing me that He wants me to be still on His time and that He is in control so I just need to let up a little bit.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
I want to chose what is better. So the house may not be spotless, the laundry might pile up...that is ok because He is worthy of my undivided attention. When He wants to speak to me is when I need to drop everything and listen.
So pray that while I am preparing my house and my children for my upcoming surgery that I will also let God prepare my heart for Him to show me how to slow down, and not just when I have to but also when He wants me to.