Psalm 139

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Lord, all day long you are watching me.  You see me when I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to stay two steps ahead of my boys.  You see me when I am so exhausted and I can't put a complete sentence together, I know the words I want to use but can't seem to make sense...but you know them completely.

Today I can not fathom it.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn,  if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me  and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

You are everywhere Lord.  You are there when I am laughing, acting goofy and having a blast.  You are there when I am crying like a baby curled up in a ball.  You never leave me.

You are proud and cheering right along side me when my kids do something great.  You are holding me in your arms when I feel sad and all alone.

Today I can not fathom it.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body;  all the days ordained for me were written in your book  before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

You made me.  You made my cute dimple and you made my left foot bigger than my right foot.  And in Your eyes it is perfect.  When I look in the mirror and in my eyes something doesn't look quite right, You are seeing a beautiful masterpiece that you created.  You knew 40 years ago all the things that I would do, and you love me anyway.  You knew 40 years ago all the things that would happen to me and you pour your love out on me daily.  You knew that I would be yours.

Today I can not fathom it.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.  Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Lord, if only I didn't have to deal with the hard things, the hard people, the enemy, cancer.  Then life would be easy, but then would I need you?  You have never promised me easy.  But you have promised me love.  Let me love like you love...see like you see...feel like you feel.  Lord, you search me...let me let you search me more.

Today I can not fathom it.

But one day I will.  One day everything will be revealed...that glorious day.  Lord haste the day, but until then let me live to glorify you.

Thank you for Jesus...thank you that endured Friday so that we can celebrate Sunday!!!