So the other day I posted that there was light at the end of the tunnel because everything was going along smoothly and I was almost done with doctors.
Then Tuesday night we were at Bible camp I was trying to lock an apartment door that was really hard to lock...I had to fiddle with it for a while, it was hot and I was tired.
I finally got it locked and then looked down at my right pointer finger. It was swollen huge and purple. It freaked me out a bit but I just rubbed it and the swelling went down some.
Later that evening I was looking at it and trying to figure out why my finger would do that. I was putting the day together with having the PET scan earlier in the day and wondered if it was a side effect.
Then my mind went back to something that my oncologist talked about being careful about with blood pressure and needles...lymphedema.
Lymphedema can happen when the lymph nodes are compromised and they send mixed signals through your body causing swelling in your extremities...I have learned way too much.
Lyphedema is not curable and can progress like cancer if not treated.
When I got that thought in my head, I started saying "Lord, really...why"? Why more...I am so close to being done. I can't do any more.
I had a pity party for about 5 minutes and then the Lord started showing me that even if it is this Lymphedema that there is still Light at the end of the tunnel.
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5
Whenever you have God there is always Light. God is Light. I can not base this Truth on my circumstances or what I think I can handle or how many more doctors appointments I have on the calendar.
I have to trust that He is in control and will get me through any situation. I belong to God. He chose me. He loves me with an everlasting love and even though we live in a fallen world where bad things happen every day He is protecting me and taking care of me.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
So once I had my perspective back I went to the doctor today and she said that it was just a broken blood vessel. My body is still tender so things will effect me more.
Oh and she had the results from my PET scan back and they were all clear...cancer free indeed!!